i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
