Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
