You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize