Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
