That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
