is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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