he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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