the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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