i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
