I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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