We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize