U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
