Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
This girl is more easily done than said...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
