Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
