what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize