hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
