At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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