genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
