just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
