That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
