Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
