I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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