I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
