using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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