he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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