you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm really busy with my period
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