There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
