I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
