it wasn't lemon gatorade
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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