sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
