that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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