where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
