What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
