I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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