It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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