You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
