he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
