i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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