Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
