nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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