i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
