You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
