My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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