Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
