Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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