How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think my vagina is haunted
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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