real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
