Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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