Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
