I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
