We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
