and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
