Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Randomize
