you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
