Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
