dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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