this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize