Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize