remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
