yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
