what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
