i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
