A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize