i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
