No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
