What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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