is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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