called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
