I heard we made out
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize