id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
whose parrot is this?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
